Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
