my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
