I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
