brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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