apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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