i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
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she sounds like chewbacca in bed
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
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I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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