You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
