OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
