shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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