If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
