Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
