so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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