She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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