I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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