dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize