I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Success! We fucked roommates!
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