I'm sorry my penis didn't work
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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