At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
