I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
God I need to hump something, right now.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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