i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
