Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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