"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
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So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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