oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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