I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It's shark week go big or go home
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
