very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
