Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
