I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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