Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
