the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize