Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
