3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
