i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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