no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I could make wine with my vomit
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
