Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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