Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
