i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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