direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
