Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
