The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
