That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
