we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
