i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
