Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
