Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
ok first of all what the fuck
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
