420 ftw
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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