when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
