and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
