you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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