I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
