so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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