So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
