Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
