Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Alive.
So much puke
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
