I've blown a few things in my day
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
