Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
