I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
