I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
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Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
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And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about