whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.