He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.