Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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